It’s Gonna Be A N-O For M-E

What are deal breakers for you? What are some things that you absolutely will not put up with and will quickly cut ties with a relationship (workplace/friendship/partner)? This past weekend I was listening to a podcast on deal breakers and I started thinking about my own deal breakers.

Now before I get started on my list, let me start by saying it hasn’t always been this way. I will admit I use to let quite a bit slide in relationships. But these days, ‘It’s going to be a no for me’. Some dealbreakers took more life lessons than others before I added them as dealbreakers. You know how they say someone has to change or not accept something when they are tired of it, not you.

Dealbreakers In The Workplace

1. Quality of Life / Work-Life Balance: I can be a workaholic. I have been working on changing that and with my current position, it has given me allllll the flexibility to explore that. I will admit though, I have not taken full advantage of that and that’s on me. I do however appreciate that I have that opportunity to take the time that  I need for myself so that I can walk into my office and perform at the level that I expect from myself and what my team expects from me. What I don’t want is to be shamed for taking leave…it’s a no. I believe in working hard and playing harder.
2. Comfortable:  When I say comfortable I am talking about an umbrella of things. I want to work in a team that shows respect to everyone. You do not have to like someone but when someone comes to work and they have the mindset and expertise to deliver what it is they are there to do, personal feelings have to be put to the side. What we not going to do is be disrespectful because you feeling some type of way. Being comfortable also means that I don’t want to feel like I have to be someone else to appease my colleagues. If I can’t be myself, it’s a no for me.

Dealbreakers In A Friendship

There are different levels of friendships. The quicker you figure out where you stand with a friend the easier it is to navigate how to continue to nurture that bond. If I can’t figure out where to place someone as a friend, I don’t need them. Friendships are meant to support each other throughout life.

1.  One-sided –  I understand that at times I may need my friend more than they need me and vice versa. What I don’t want is where I’m constantly giving giving giving and I am getting nothing in return. It shouldn’t be me always showing and showing out for my friends and when I expect the same ‘friends’ are absent. In these days honey, I’m not going to allow it but so many times before you put into another level of the friendship category.
2.  Trust & Loyalty – I’m a private person and so IF I decide to open to you and have some real-life conversations, you in there with me. So, the last thing I need is to know that I shared something with you and you going off to tell other people.

Dealbreakers With A Partner

1. Feeling unappreciated:  feeling like my best is not enough or my efforts go unnoticed. I want it to be clear of my position in my partner’s life and always having that feeling we are on the same team. I want to know that what I’m doing in OUR relationship is not being taken for granted.
2. Goal – Less:  If I want the stars and you want the pavement that you walk on ALREADY, we not matching each other fly. I don’t expect us to have the same goals but I do expect the person I’m in a relationship to have goals.  This is not to say I’m not going to be there when my partner is going through some things because I believe teamwork makes the dream work. What I’m saying you have to give me a starting point and have goals of your own. In my opinion, a person who can not set goals or hold themselves accountable to accomplish something has already labeled themselves as a failure.
3. Inability To Lead:  While I am an introvert, I am very much an extrovert about what it is I want out of life. I am also very spoiled and I make no apologies for it. So when I say I want something best believe I’m making every move necessary to make it happen. Me not getting what I want is not a sight to be seen lol. I know that I am very independent and I even have taken note as to how dominant of a woman I have become. In the workplace, I am well aware that I have to make my mark, especially when working in an office where the majority is men. However, when I get off the clock, I appreciate a man that can put me in my place and remind me that I’m not always running the show. Truth be told I don’t want to always run the show and make the decisions. From time to time I like to be told to be quiet and have a seat, but don’t get carried away hahaha. Men want women to be submissive, well give me something worth being submissive to. Yeap, I said it!!!

I did not list all my dealbreakers above but these are just a few that I wanted to put out there.

What are some of your dealbreakers?