Women Are Afraid​ To Compete?

A question for my women, are you afraid to compete? Some would say absolutely NOT and are willing to compete for what they believe belongs to them. Others would say they prefer not to.

What is it that you have competed for? For some did you keep that same energy of competition in advancing your career, health, or financial stability as you had for competing with another woman for some man? Oh oh, we don’t talk about that today? That’s cool I’m not here for that anyways we can move.

When I first started working my goal was to keep a job lol. To find a job that I enjoyed and was financially stable with was my goal.

I remember in one of my first positions I offered a lot to the team but I tried to stay in the background and out of the spotlight. There were times I’d have an idea and give it to someone else just so I didn’t have to present it. It was just something about being recognized I was way too shy for. I know some people think that’s crazy but it’s just how I was.

I can recall a time when a woman in upper management found out that I was downplaying my contribution. She pulled me into her office and simply said ” I see what you are doing, you don’t want anyone to know and I can’t figure out why. I will say to you that one day you’ll want to get the credit and be heard. It is best that you are heard on your own terms rather than learning a hard lesson.”

Well, let’s just say down the road I learned exactly what she was saying.

2 years later I was in a new position for less than a year and a position opened within our department. During that time I was traveling with my management and she inquired if I had planned to apply for the position. I quickly took the attention off me and asked if anyone else had applied. I had asked this question because I wanted to know if other women in my office had applied because a part of me felt that they should have first ‘dibs’ at the position as they had been there longer than me. I know I know but remember I wasn’t even 3 years out of college y’all. Again I was just trying to keep a job and didn’t want to rock the boat.

Long story short, she sat me down next to her and told me to put my resume in and I should never tell myself no to anything I wanted. Thank you, Ms. Felecia!!!

Why as women are we afraid of competition with other women?

We as women can compete with men and not feel as nervous but when it comes to girl on girl, it’s a problem. Why is that?!?! A lot of women feel that competing with other women can negatively impact the relationship as co-workers or friends.

Because women want to avoid this feeling they avoid the competition or even tone down their approach. Look at me and how I was worried if the women I had worked with would flip the script on me.

These types of concerns go way back to us as little girls. Growing up we were always taught to make things equal, boys always wanted to know who was better between them.

Boys’ activities are competitive and girls’ activities are more of a community setting where everyone is on the same level and gets along. If at any point a girl tries to step out and become competitive they can quickly be shut out from the rest of the group and no longer liked by the other girls.

In the workplace, it can become difficult if you are in an environment that practices the Sisterhood Ceiling. I had never heard of this until talking with a few friends and hearing about what they were going through. After a little research, I found out that the Sisterhood Ceiling is women preventing other women from advancing in the workplace by undercutting other women. I’m sure some of you think now you have been in a situation that definitely falls under this.

I’m not sure why, how, or when women started to believe that there was only enough room for 1 woman in management or a leadership position. It’s time to cut that mindset.

I think today’s society is working to change this and encourage women to step up and claim what they believe belongs to them. Looking out for yourself does not mean that it has to be the detriment of others. Don’t cut yourself short on the basis that undermines your strength and ability to accomplish so much for yourself.