A couple of years back I came across ted.com
I recently sat at one of my favorite coffee shops and decided to search on the topic of happiness. It seems to become a main discussion with friends and family as we go through experiences and search for all life enhancements that are good.
Watch the video, and following are my thoughts and opinions of what was discussed.
In this video Robert Waldinger gave 3 lessons on happiness. Happiness that did not focus on money, tangibles, or fame but relationships.
From the moment he made it clear that money and fame wasn’t the key to happiness. Out loud in the coffee shop I said “You betta tell em”, he had my attention.
Robert Waldinger went on to say that good relationships keeps us happy and healthier.
The first point that he made was:
- Social connections are really good for us. Those that have positive social connections are happier, healthier and live longer.
It did not take me long to go through all those that I have a social connection with frequently to realize they were all positive connections. I never want to have a relationship with anyone that I feel brings stress, sadness, anxiety, and/or anger. I believe that when you have a good relationship it shouldn’t take a lot of work to maintain it. Yes you will fight for those relationships that are worth it. You know it’s worth it because the relationship you share with that person brings all good things.
I have had friends and family tell me about social connections they have with others and how draining they are. I have always replied with the same question for each of them: Why do you continue to have a relationship with them? What benefits do they bring to your life?
A few responses that I have gotten:
*They mean well it’s just at times…
*I don’t want to just stop talking to them, that’s rude
*I don’t know
I can’t comprehend the thought process of someone that isn’t willing to put themselves first. How can one not want to have complete happiness and protect the health of their body from the negative energy that comes from a bad relationship?
- Quality not quantity of relationships is most important.
I can count my close relationships on one hand and maybe 1 or 3 more fingers on the other. For me building quality relationships is what matters to me the most not the number. I am friendly and will start a conversation with anyone lol. However, I can admit that I don’t open up easily and I have always been a private person. I am working on this very very very slowly because I am very protective of myself. I am very selective about who I allow into my personal space.
I have found that the good quality relationships that I have are those that I wouldn’t trade for anything.
- Good relationships protect our brains.
When Robert Waldinger described what he meant by this it reminded me of the saying ‘keeping me on my toes’ in a different form.
I like having those relationships with people that can check me when I need to be checked and call me out when I’m not acting right. I want people in my life where we both want to see nothing but good things come for the other.
I know that in relationships not everything is going to be smooth.
I am not going to always get along with those that I have close relationships with. I can be mad and I’m still going to pick them for my kickball team because I know the bond we share isn’t broken from a disagreement and we both trying to get that W. : )
I really enjoyed watching this video because it reminded me of how fortunate I am to have those positive relationships in my life. These are the relationships that contribute to my happiness and for that I am appreciative to each and every person in my life that brings that to me.